The car world is a confusing place, where Aston Martin will sell you knockoff Chinese plastic and BMW will sell you a four-door version of the two-door version of their four-door. These ten cars are the most existentially troubling of all.
10.) The Youabian Puma
It's the only car I can think of that was designed by a plastic surgeon. It's a massive full-size truck that swallowed a Volvo convertible. It was put on display at the LA Auto Show, taunting the other cars, challenging them to equal its strangeness.
Suggested By: Kyle Johnson, Photo Credit: Jason Torchinsky
9.) Lancia Flavia
Senator, I served with the Lancia Flavia. I knew the Lancia Flavia. The Lancia Flavia was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Lancia Flavia.
Suggested By: zacarious, Photo Credit: Lancia
8.) The Last Chevrolet Monte Carlo
Every time I see one of these front-drive beigemobiles tooling around, particularly with some kind of NASCAR tie-in, part of my soul dies.
Suggested By: Umrguy42, Photo Credit: Chevrolet
7.) Jeep Compass
If you're ever wondering what it would look like if Jeep made a Chinese knockoff of a real Jeep, here you go. The engine's initial development was handled by Hyundai, the platform design came from Mitsubishi. It was sold alongside the Patriot, which was exactly the same, only less awful.
Suggested By: N2Skylark, Photo Credit: Jeep
6.) Mini Countryman/Paceman
I know that the Countryman isn't bad to drive. I know that it's small for its class, shorter even than a VW Golf. But that can't stop my brain from hurting every time I see the MINI badge on this bulky crossover. The two-door Paceman drives bad and, as far as I can tell, has no reason to exist.
Suggested By: Nibby, Photo Credit: MINI
5.) Mercedes CLA
A Mercedes that competes against Hondas and Toyotas. Is it still luxury if everyone can afford it?
Suggested By: ranwhenparked, Photo Credit: Mercedes-Benz
4.) The Subaru STI Convertible
Thankfully (for my sanity's sake) only one exists, the product of this lone rogue dealership.
Suggested By: SuperFluke, Photo Credit: Newport Convertible Engineering/Manchester Subaru
3.) BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo
Supposedly these things are great buys. They're so undesirable that BMW dealers are practically giving them away. That shouldn't be a surprise, really.
Suggested By: essfour, Photo Credit: BMW
2.) Buick Rendezvous
At least the Pontiac Aztek was honest.
Suggested By: tf3cac, Photo Credit: Buick
1.) Nissan Murano CrossCab
The philosophy of why not? embodied in a vehicle.
Suggested By: SomethingGerman, Photo Credit: Nissan
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Top Photo Credit: MINI/LEMMiNO
The Very Existence Of These Ten Cars Trouble You Deeply