You ever go out with friends one night, get a little crazy, wake up the next morning and realize you had agreed to something ridiculous?
Well in a PBR / Whiskey rage (Hipster Right?), I had agreed to go buy a scooter for around $500, meet up in New York / Philly and then ride them to LA. What could go wrong... right?
I hesitantly went to the land of stolen cars, broken phones, peoples trash, and countless treasures - Craig's big List of stuff.
I quickly found a sea of cheap, Chinese, no name bikes that no one cared for. I like to refer to this as "the jackpot."
After reading the "Enthusiast" forums (a term I use loosely) I had come to the realization that I should be looking for a late 80's Honda, even though Honda had no intention acknowledging that they ever produced them.
I blindly went for the cheapest / fastest scooter I could find, It was a 1985 Honda Elite. "Road Ready" the title said and to to add sprinkles to the already delicious sundae, it was maroon and gold. Seemed legit, SCORE.
Having never mounted a motorcycle before and just freshly passing my motorcycle permit test at the local DMV (Which only consisted of multiple choice questions where the answer is was most commonly "wear a reflective vest")
I felt like a pro, poised and ready to attack the roads to give every motorcycle rider a big over enthusiastic wave from my little Elite.
Pulling out on the open road for the first time felt awesome. I could instantly see why people love two wheeled motorized vehicles so much. I finally realized what I had been missing out on being behind the wheel of a car all these years.
Then the front tire blew up……
After wrestling it down to a stop with out dumping it over or hitting a tree, I knew this trip was gonna be awesome. I thought to myself "Great, not only did I feel like every redneck I passed in a lifted truck wanted to run me over, but the bike has now turned on me and wants to kill me too."
My next immediate thought was "Time for some new tires, and some fresh underwear."
Well I'm a veteran now, my first big moment. "I could go pro… make the big bucks," I thought. I'm like the fatter, weirder Travis Pastrana of Scooters.
Time to sell out now right? This is America and I, like everyone else, want to be some corporate white collar agents bitch. SIGN ME UP!
Well we did… We are now supported by a plethora of companies that are probably just encouraging us because everyone wants to support a real life version of a national lampoon movie.
You can follow us on our journey on any of the following corporate exploiting outlets:
TheScooterRun.com / Facebook / Instagram / tumblr / twitter / myspace/ farmersonly/ christiansmingle/ tinder/ words with friends/ aol chat
We leave today, and it "should" take about 13 days of back roads before we hit LA, and probably the rest of our lives to live it down.
If we make it to LA alive and this doesn't turn into the largest overly- planned train wreck ever; I will certainly compose a follow up.
Thank you to Vita Coco / SPY / Brim Skins / Chums / Stance Socks / Ditchgear / Drift Innovations / Sanuk /and all my friends, family, and employers that haven't disowned us…yet.
Without there help we would just look like hobos on scooters, instead we will look like hobos on scooters with stickers and some new sweet gear.
The 2013 Scooter Run