Twitter has made it easier than ever to feel connected to your favorite drivers, 140 characters at a time. Unfortunately, many drivers' accounts are extensions of the same slick PR speak that we all know and mock. Enter @GenericRacer, your new favorite Twitter account.
Racing drivers' Twitter accounts tend to be a mix of polite statements about recent races, practice sessions, work-outs and sponsored events. It's like you've accidentally browsed into Mormon country: All niceties, all the time. Some accounts read like written evidence of "Top Gear's" assertion that racing drivers have nothing of value to say.
It's the same reason why we love to see anything unfiltered by public relations and marketing drones, be it Mark Webber flipping the bird in front of the RB9 or Kimi Räikkönen, well, being Kimi Räikkönen.
Someone has taken notice of this phenomenon and created the delightfully on-point and slightly unhinged Generic Racer account on Twitter. The bio says it all: "Zero personality. Next world champ, just ask my dad."
Tweets range from this-could-be-anyone-in-racing statements such as these:
Working really hard on some things for next year. Its going to be mega!
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) November 15, 2013
Great 20 mile ride today! pic.twitter.com/nqjlwtPFUM
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) November 27, 2013
Generic Racer tries to think of creative caption for Instagram post of cockpit. Settles on "good to be back in the office."
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) December 9, 2013
Generic Racer on 12 Hours of Sebring: "With the reliability of these cars, it's like a sprint race nowadays."
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) December 10, 2013
@GenericRacer, like any good driver's account, also gives a glimpse behind the scenes of Generic Race Team:
Generic Racing Team on competing in new series: "We're 99% there, all we need is the funding"
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) November 21, 2013
Generic Racer "signs" with Generic Race Team because dad owns team.
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) November 21, 2013
No relation to the Generic Race Team—or is there?
Generic Racer "signs" with TRG for Rolex 24. "Getting 40 minutes of seat time for $120k is great and their pressers make me feel big time"
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) November 21, 2013
If that was a typo, it's the most hilarious typo he could've made.
Our man's even dabbled in Jalopnik's new favorite racing series:
Joins Ferrari Challenge series. Wears race suit around hotel, so everybody knows they're in the presence of something special.
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) November 18, 2013
It may come as a surprise, but it appears our Ferrari-hooning gentleman driver has a bit of trouble with the ladieeeees:
Girls call me the GT class because I'm constantly ignored.
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) December 2, 2013
Consequently, he's taken to posting the greatest pick-up lines I've read in the history of the Internet:
Damn girl are you a late apex? Because I tried to hit it earlier, but I'm a little nervous and I'm still learning.
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) December 12, 2013
Damn girl, are you a soft brake pedal? Because I want to hit it, but I'm afraid I won't be able to stop.
— Generic Racer (@GenericRacer) December 15, 2013
I'd say these are guaranteed to work on racer chasers anywhere, but I think mentions of actual racing would fly right over their heads. Poor Generic Racer.
Follow him here if you want to hear more tales of financial woe, self-promoting tweets from the gym and pick-up lines that only work on other drivers.
Generic Racer Is The Funniest Racing Driver On Twitter